The One Where I Get Serious and Personal

Ok, so I am going to be about as serious as I can be, so don't go thinking this is going to be a heavy entry or anything like that. I mean, this is still about TV, so how serious can it get, right? Recently I was thinking about two shows that I love for different reasons and aren't really all that much alike - Friends and Sex and the City. I was thinking about them in conjunction with one another because both touch on a topic that is near and no so dear to my heart, infertility. Yes, I admit it: My name is Emily, and I'm infertile.

Hi, Emily.

There is nothing to be ashamed of.

Anyhow, not too long ago, The WB was showing episodes from the later seasons of Friends, in which Monica and Chandler both find that they are infertile. While there are some tender and serious moments, it is mostly used a punch line. A way to make to make them seem "real" but still comical. I am here to tell you that when you are going through it, at first, there is not much that is funny about the situation. In fact, it downright sucks, but as you learn to deal and cope with it, you begin to find the humor in the situation. For example, my mom always worried that I would come home pregnant in high school. Turns out she really didn't have to worry all that much! Anyhow, I just don't feel the gravity of the situation. Watching it and having been through it myself, I don't find myself drawn to Monica and saying, "I totally know what she feels like". I guess you could say it's not a "real depiction".

On the other hand you have Charlotte York Goldenblatt on Sex and the City. I really have to commend the writers of SATC because I feel like they hit the nail on the infertility head when the wrote that plot line into the script. The night a friend of mine told me she was pregnant, I didn't at the time "know" that I had problems, but I had a feeling. I came home that night and watched the episode in which Miranda tells Charlotte she is pregnant. I.cried.my.eyes.out (and this was before the artificial hormones!). Because everything Charlotte said and did, I identified with. I knew, just like that she did, that something was wrong with me. And that my friends, is a tough pill to swallow.

This past Christmas, I completed my SATC set with parts one and two of season 6. I used to have them on DVD, but then I gave lent them to someone never to be seen again. Since they were new, I watched all episodes again which I hadn't done in a long time. The last time I watched them, I was in college and the "real" world didn't really apply to me. Now I watched it with a fresh eye and a little bit of experience (ok not much). Again, I was amazed at the accuracy of how they portrayed Charlotte's journey to baby. One of my favorite episodes, is when Charlotte gets a new dog and they take her to the dog park where she gets "gang banged" by the other dogs. The dog of course gets pregnant and this fires Charlotte up, because according to her everyone can get pregnant but her, and her dog got pregnant and it was her first time. There is humor in this situation, but also truth. Every time someone tells me they are pregnant, I want to scream because, "they weren't even trying" or "they got pregnant on their first try". It really does seem like everyone is getting pregnant but you. The most poignant episode though was when she got pregnant and had a miscarriage. She says that she can't go to Brady's birthday because it's too hard. I have been there. I have not had the experience of miscarriage (I can only imagine the pain of trying and trying only to be let down in that manner), but I have been there in the sense of not wanting to go to baby showers, or baby birthday parties because it's hard to smile and say I'm happy for you, when really you are sad and upset that it's not you. But like Charlotte, I try to rise above and still make it to those events because life does go on.

I could go on and on about the similarities I see in my journey to baby and that as depicted on SATC, but I'll stop there. Infertility is not a fun subject, but I try to make the best of it, just like Charlotte and Monica. I laugh about it, I cry about it, but I don't let it become who I am. Because I am much more than just infertile.

And that is about as serious as I ever want to get.